Whether or not you subscribe to a specific religious faith, treating others with love, kindness, and empathy is a universal principle that shapes healthy relationships and communities. As we await the return of Jesus Christ, Christians are called to exemplify these values, while for others, these same principles resonate as essential human values. Bullying—whether in the form of exclusion, verbal abuse, or any other behavior intended to harm—directly contradicts these teachings.
From both a biblical and psychological standpoint, harmful behaviors like bullying can deeply affect a person’s emotional and mental well-being. This article explores the biblical and psychological approach to addressing such behavior, promoting self-reflection, and fostering reconciliation and emotional healing.
Understanding Bullying: Its Impact and Immorality
Bullying, defined as the intentional and repeated harm or intimidation of another person, can manifest in many ways—such as social exclusion or verbal harassment. These actions are not only immoral but also deeply harmful, leaving lasting emotional scars on the victim.
Take Sam’s story as an example: On his first day at school, Sam was excited but nervous, hoping to make friends. However, when he approached a group of kids at lunch, Alex, one of the “cool kids,” excluded him, telling him there was no space for him. This social exclusion left Sam feeling hurt and isolated. Studies show that being excluded can lead to feelings of rejection and loneliness, which in turn, may impact a person’s self-esteem and mental health.
Similarly, in Mia’s story, we see verbal bullying at play. Mia loved to draw, but when a classmate, Jessica, ridiculed her artwork in front of others, Mia felt embarrassed and hurt. Verbal bullying, such as mockery or insults, can damage a person’s confidence and emotional well-being, leading to anxiety, depression, or withdrawal from social activities.
The biblical approach reminds us that we are accountable for how we treat others. In Matthew 7:12, we are taught the principle of the Golden Rule: “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you.” This reflects the broader moral and psychological idea that we should treat others with kindness and respect, building healthy, loving relationships.
A Biblical and Psychological Path to Healing and Reconciliation
The process of addressing harmful behavior, whether viewed through a Christian lens or a psychological one, involves several key steps: recognition, accountability, repentance, and restoration. Each of these steps offers a path not only toward personal and spiritual growth but also toward reconciliation with others.
- Conviction and Recognition: Understanding the Wrong
In Christian teachings, the first step is conviction of sin—a recognition, often brought about by the Holy Spirit, that we have done something wrong (John 16:8). This is the moment when an individual becomes aware of the harm they’ve caused. From a psychological perspective, this is called self-awareness—understanding that our actions or words have negatively impacted another person.
For Jessica and Alex, this moment of conviction happens when they realize that their actions—mocking Mia’s drawings or excluding Sam—were hurtful. Cognitive dissonance occurs, where their behavior conflicts with their internal sense of right and wrong, leading to feelings of guilt or discomfort. This discomfort is essential because it prompts the desire to correct the wrongdoing. - Confession and Accountability: Taking Responsibility for Actions
The next step, both biblically and psychologically, is confession—acknowledging the harm done and taking responsibility for it. In Christian faith, confession is about admitting our sins to God and to those we have wronged (1 John 1:9). Confession is not just about saying “sorry”; it involves truly owning up to the consequences of our actions.
Psychologically, this mirrors the concept of accountability, where individuals acknowledge their role in the situation and seek to repair the emotional damage caused. Confession provides emotional relief and is a crucial step in the healing process. For Jessica and Alex, this means apologizing to Sam and Mia, acknowledging how their behavior hurt them. - Repentance and Change: Committing to Better Behavior
In the biblical context, repentance means more than just feeling sorry—it involves a commitment to change. Acts 3:19 says, “Repent therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out.” Repentance calls for a transformation of behavior, driven by a sincere desire to live according to God’s teachings.
In psychology, this is seen as behavioral change, where individuals actively work to replace harmful behaviors with more positive, constructive ones. For Jessica and Alex, repentance would involve a commitment to treating others with kindness, empathy, and inclusion going forward. This step requires practice, reflection, and genuine effort to live in a way that aligns with both their faith and their personal values. - Restoration and Reconciliation: Healing Relationships
The final step is restoration—not just restoring one’s relationship with God but also repairing relationships with others. In 2 Corinthians 5:17-19, we are called to the ministry of reconciliation, working to make peace with those we have hurt. Restoring relationships requires more than just an apology; it involves rebuilding trust through changed behavior and consistent kindness.
In psychological terms, this process of relational repair involves actions that demonstrate genuine change. For Jessica and Alex, this means showing through their actions that they no longer engage in bullying behaviors. They must now include Sam and Mia in social activities and offer words of encouragement instead of criticism.
Integrating Biblical and Psychological Healing: A Unified Approach
At GEMS Psychotherapy for Hope and Healing, we believe in an integrated approach that combines biblical teachings with psychological principles to promote personal growth, emotional healing, and reconciliation. Whether you come from a faith-based background or not, these steps—conviction, confession, repentance, and restoration—offer a path to healing that is both spiritually and emotionally transformative.
From a psychological perspective, each of these steps provides emotional closure and mental clarity, allowing individuals to break free from harmful patterns and embrace healthier, more loving relationships. From a Christian perspective, these same steps bring us closer to living as Christ taught, in preparation for His return.
Call to Action: A Commitment to Change
Reflect on your interactions with others. Have you hurt someone through your actions or words? Now is the time to take responsibility. Recognize the impact of your behavior, confess your wrongs, and make a genuine commitment to change. Whether through faith or personal values, we are all called to treat others with kindness and respect.
Begin the process of reconciliation today by actively seeking to restore relationships, practicing empathy, and living in a way that promotes healing and growth for yourself and those around you.
“Giving Every Mind Service”